Chapter 9. I scoop poop. I lost hope when I saw the horse's teeth. As I got closer to the fence,
I held my shirt over my nose to block the smell. One stallion waited through the muck and windy to
angrily at me. He buried his teeth, which were pointed like a bear's. I tried to talk to him in
my mind. I can do that with most horses. Hi, I told him. I'm gonna clean your stables. Won't that be
great? Yes, the horse said. Come inside. Eat you. Tasty half blood. But I'm beside in
the sun, I protested. He created horses. Usually that gives me VIP treatment in the equestrian
world. But not this time. Yes, the horse agreed enthusiastically. But I didn't come in too. We
will eat you both. Seafood. Seafood. The other horses chimed in as they waited through the field.
Flies were buzzing everywhere, and the heat of the day didn't make the smell any better. I'd had
some idea that I could do this challenge because I remembered how Hercules had done it. He channeled
the river into the stables and cleaned them out that way. I figured I could maybe control the water.
But if I couldn't get close to the horses without getting eaten, that was a problem. And the river
was downhill from the stables a lot farther away than I realized. Almost half a mile. The problem of
the poop looked a lot bigger up close. I picked up a rusted shovel and experimentally scooped some
away from the fence line. Great. Only four billion shovelfuls to go. The sun was already sinking. I
had a few hours at best. I decided the river was my only hope. At least it would be easier to think
at the river side than it was here. I set off downhill. When I got to the river, I found a girl
waiting for me. She was wearing jeans and a green t-shirt, and her long brown hair was braided with
river grass. She had a stern look on her face. Her arms were crossed. Oh no you don't. She said,
I stared at her. Are you nigh at? She rolled her eyes. Of course. But you speak English and you're
out of the water. What? You don't think we can act human if we want to? I never thought about it. I
kind of felt stupid though because I'd seen plenty of nigh as at camp and they'd never done much more
than giggle and wave at me from the bottom of the canoe lake. Look, I said, I just came to ask,
I know who you are. She said, and I know what you want. The answer's no. I'm not going to have my
river used again to clean that filthy stable. But oh save it, seaboy. You ocean god types always think
you're so much more important than the some little river, don't you? Well, let me tell you,
this nigh at is not going to be pushed around just because your daddy is Poseidon. This is a
freshwater territory, mister. The last guy who asked me this favor, oh he was way better looking
than you by the way. He convinced me and that was the worst mistake I've ever made. Do you have any
idea what all those horse manure does to my ecosystem? Do I look like a sewage treatment
plant to you? My fish will die. I'll never get a muck out of my plant. So I'll be sick for years.
No thank you. The way she talked reminded me of my mortal friend, Rachel Elizabeth there.
Kind of like she was punching me with words. I couldn't blame the nigh at it. Now that I thought
about it, I'd be pretty mad if someone ducked four million pounds of manure in my home. But still,
my friends are in danger, I told her. Well that's too bad because that's not my problem and you're
not going to ruin my river. She looked like she was ready for a fight. Her fists were bald but I
thought I heard a little quiver in her voice. Suddenly I realized that despite her angry
attitude, she was afraid of me. She probably thought I was going to fight her for control of
the river and she was worried she would lose. The thought made me sad. I felt like a bully.
A son of Poseidon throwing his weight around. I sat down on a tree stump.
Okay, you win. The nighad looked surprised. Really? I'm not going to fight you. It's your river.
She relaxed her shoulders. Oh, oh good. I mean good thing for you. But my friends and I are going
to get sold to the Titans if I don't clean those stables by sunset and I don't know how
the river Googled along cheerfully. A snake slid through the water and ducked its head under.
Finally the nighad sighed. I'll tell you a secret son of the sea god. Scoop up some dirt.
What? You heard me. I crouched down and scooped up a handful of Texas dirt. It was dry and black
and spotted with tiny clumps of white rock. No. Something besides rock. Those are shells,
the nighad said. Petrified seashells. Millions of years ago, even before the time of the gods,
when only Gaia and Oranos reigned, this land was underwater. It was part of the sea.
Suddenly I saw what she meant. There were little pieces of ancient sea urchins in my hand.
Moloschills. Even the limestone rocks had impressions of seashells embedded in them.
Okay. I said, what good does that do me? You're not so different from me, demigod.
Even when I'm out of the water, the water is within me. It's my life source.
She stepped back, put her feet in the river and smiled.
I hope you find a way to rescue your friends.
And with that she turned a liquid and melted into the river.
The sun was touching the hills when I got back to the stables. Somebody must have come by and fed
the horses because they were tearing into a huge animal carcass. I couldn't tell what kind of animal,
and I really didn't want to know. If it was possible for the stables to get more disgusting,
50 horses tearing into raw meats, sure did it.
Seafood. One thought when he saw me.
Come in, we're still hungry.
What was I supposed to do? I couldn't use the river and the fact that this place had been
underwater a million years ago didn't exactly help me now. I looked at the little calcified
seashell in my palm, then at the huge mountain of dawn. Frustrated I shoot through the shell
into the poop. I was about to turn my back on the horses when I heard a sound, like a balloon
with a leak. I looked down where I had thrown the shell. A tiny spout of water was shooting
out of the muck. No way, I muttered.
Hesitantly I stepped toward the fence.
Get bigger, I told the water spout.
Spoosh. Water shot three feet into the air and kept bubbling. It was impossible, but there it was.
A couple of horses came over to check it out.
One put his mouth through the spring and recoiled.
Yuck, he said. Salty.
It was seawater in the middle of a Texas ranch. I scooped up another handful of dirt and
picked out the shell fossils. I didn't really know what I was doing, but I ran along the
length of the stable throwing shells into the dung piles. Everywhere a shell hit, a saltwater
spring erupted.
Stop! The horses cried.
Meat is good. Baths are bad.
Then I noticed the water wasn't running out of the stables or flowing down hill like water
normally would. It simply bubbled around each spring and sank into the ground, taking the
dung with it. The horse poop dissolved into the saltwater, leaving regular old wet dirt.
More! I yelled. There was a tugging sensation in my gut and the water spouts exploded like the
world's largest car wash. Saltwater shot 20 feet into the air. The horses went crazy running back and
forth as the geysers sprayed them from all directions. Mountains of poop began to melt like ice.
The tugging sensation became more intense, painful even, but there was something exhilarating
about seeing all that saltwater. I had made this. I had brought the ocean to this hillside.
Stop, Lord! A horse cried. Stop! Please!
Water was sloshing everywhere now. The horses were drenched and somewhere panicking and slipping
in the mud. The poop was completely gone. Tons of it just dissolved into the earth.
And the water was now starting to pool, trickling out of the stable, making a hundred little streams
down toward the river. Stop! I told the water. Nothing happened. The pain in my gut was building.
If I didn't shut off the geysers soon, the saltwater would run into the river and poison the fish and
plants. Stop! I concentrated all my might on shutting off the force of the sea.
Suddenly the geysers shut down. I collapsed to my knees, exhausted. In front of me was a shiny,
clean horse stable, a field of wet, salty mud, and fifty horses that had been scoured so thoroughly
their coats gleamed. Even the meat scraps between their teeth had been washed out.
We won't eat you. The horses wailed. Please, Lord! No more salty baths.
On one condition, I said, you only eat the food your handlers give you from now on. Not people.
Or I'll be back with more seashells. The horses winnie'd and made me a whole lot of promises that
they would be good at flesh eating horses from now on, but I didn't stick around a chat.
This sun was going down. I turned and ran full speed toward the ranch house.
I smelled barbecue before I reached the house, and that made me matter than ever because I really
loved barbecue. The deck was set up for a party. Streamers and balloons decorated the railing.
Garyana was flipping burgers on a huge barbecue cooker made from an oil drum.
Eurition lounged at a picnic table, picking his fingernails with a knife.
The two headed dogs sniffed the ribs and burgers that were frying on the grill.
Then I saw my friends, Tyson, Grover, Anabeth, and Nikko all tossed in a corner,
tied up like rodeo animals with their ankles and wrists roped together in their mouths gagged.
Let them go! I yelled, still out of breath for running up the steps.
I clean the stables.
Gary interned. He wore an apron on each chest with one word on each, so together they spelled out
kiss the chef.
Did you now? How'd you manage it?
I was pretty impatient, but I told him. He nodded appreciatively.
Very ingenious. It would have been better if you'd poisoned that pesky nye but no matter.
Let my friends go, I said. We had a deal.
Ah, I've been thinking about that. The problem is, if I let them go, I don't get paid.
You promised!
Gary made a tis-tis noise.
But did you make me swear on a rib of sticks?
No, you didn't.
So it's not bonding.
When you're conducting business, Sonny, you should always get a bonding oath.
I drew my sword, orthos ground.
One had leaned down next to Grover's ear and buried its fangs.
Your vision, Gary instead.
The boy is starting to annoy me.
Kill him.
Your vision studied me.
I didn't like my odds against him in that huge club.
Kill him yourself, Eryshin said.
Gary and raised his eyebrows.
Excuse me?
You heard me.
Eryshin grumbled.
You keep sending me out to do your duder work.
You pick fights for no good reason and I'm tired of dying for you.
You want to fight the kid you do it yourself.
It's the most unerries-like thing I'd ever heard a son of Ery say.
Gary and threw down a spatula.
You dare to find me?
I should fire you right now.
And who'd take care of your cattle?
Othous, heal.
The dog immediately stopped growling at Grover and came to sit by the coward's feet.
Fine.
Gary and snarled.
I'll deal with you later.
After the boy's dead.
He picked up two carving knives and threw them at me.
I deflected one with my sword.
The other impaled itself in the picnic table and inch from Eryshin's hand.
And I went on the attack.
Gary and parried my first strike with a pair of red-hot tongs
and lunged up my face with a barbecue fork.
I got inside his next thrust and stabbed him right through the middle chest.
Ahh!
He crumpled to his knees.
I waited for him to disintegrate the way monsters usually do,
but instead he just grimaced and began to stand up.
The wound in his chef's apron started to heal.
Nice try, sonny.
He said.
Thing is, I have three hearts.
The perfect backup system.
He tipped over the barbecue and coals spilled everywhere.
One landed next to Annabeth's face and she let out a muffled scream.
Tyson strained against his bonds, but even his strength wasn't enough to break them.
I had to end this fight before my friends got hurt.
I jabed Gary in his left chest, but he only laughed.
I stuck him in the right stomach.
No good.
I might as well have been sticking his sword in a teddy bear for all the reaction he showed.
Three hearts.
The perfect backup system.
Stabbing one at a time was no good.
I ran into the house.
Coward?
He cried.
Come back and die right.
The living room walls were decorated with a bunch of gruesome hunting trophies.
Stuff deer and a dragon.
A gun case, a sword display, and a bow with a quiver.
Gary in through his barbecue fork.
It thudded into the wall right next to my head.
He drew two swords from the wall display.
Your head's gonna go right there, Jackson.
Next to the grizzly bear.
I had a crazy idea.
I dropped ripped hide and grabbed the bow off the wall.
I was the worst archery shot in the world, but I couldn't hit targets at camp,
much less a bullseye.
But I had no choice.
I couldn't win this fight with a sword.
I pretended to, I prayed to Artemis and Apollo, the twin archers,
hoping they might take pity on me for once.
Please guys, just one shot, please.
I notched an arrow.
Gary in laughed.
You fool, one arrow is no better than one sword.
He raised his swords and charged.
I dove sideways.
Before he could turn, I shot my arrow into the side of his right chest.
I heard thum thum thum thum.
As the arrow passed clean through each of his chests
and flew out his left side, embedding itself in the forehead of the grizzly bear trophy.
Gary and dropped his swords.
He turned and stared at me.
You can't shoot.
They told me you couldn't.
His face turned a sickly shade of green.
He collapsed to his knees and began crumbling into sand
until all that was left were three cooking aprons and an oversized pair of cowboy boots.
I got my friends untied.
Euretian didn't try to stop me.
Then I stoked up the barbecue and threw the food into the flames
as a burnt offering for Artemis and Apollo.
Thanks guys.
I said, I owe you one.
The sky thundered in the distance, so I figured maybe the burgers smelled okay.
Yay for Percy.
Tyson said, can we tie up this coward now?
Nico asked.
Yeah, Grover agreed.
And that dog almost killed me.
I looked at Euretian who was still sitting relaxed at the picnic table.
Orthos had both heads on a coward's knees.
How long will it take Gary into reform?
I asked him.
Euretian shrugged.
Under the years?
He's not one of those fast reformers, thank the gods.
You've done me a favor.
You said you've died for him before.
I remembered.
How?
I've worked for that creep for thousands of years.
It started as a regular half-club, but I chose immortality when my dad offered it.
Works from the take I ever made.
Now I'm stuck here at this ranch.
I can't leave, I can't quit.
I just tend to cowls and find Gary in fights.
We're kind of tied together.
Maybe you can change things, I said.
Euretian narrowed his eyes.
How?
Be nice to the animals.
Take care of them.
Stop selling them for food.
And stop dealing with the Titans.
Euretian thought about that.
And be all right.
Get the animals on your side and they'll help you.
Once Gary gets back, maybe he'll be working for you this time.
Euretian grinned.
Now that I could live with.
You won't try to stop us leaving?
Shoot no.
Anabeth rubbed her bruised wrists.
She was still looking at Euretian suspiciously.
Your boss said that somebody paid for our safe passage.
Who?
The coward shrugged.
Maybe he was just saying I had to fool you.
What about the Titans?
I asked.
Did you Iris message them about Niko yet?
No.
Garyan was waiting until I after the barbecue.
They don't know anything about him.
Niko was glaring at me.
I wasn't sure about what to do with him.
I doubt he would agree to come with us.
On the other hand, I couldn't just let him roam around on his own.
You could stay here until we're done with our quest.
I told him.
It'd be safe.
Safe!
Niko said.
What do you care if I'm safe?
You got my sister killed!
Niko.
Anabeth said.
That wasn't Percy's fault.
And Garyan wasn't lying about Cronus wanting to capture you.
If he knew who you were, he'd do anything to get you on his side.
I'm not on anyone's side, and I'm not afraid.
You should be, Anabeth said.
Your sister wouldn't want.
If you cared for my sister, you'd help me bring her back.
A soul for a soul?
I said.
Yes.
But if you didn't want my soul, I'm not explaining anything to you.
He blinked tears out of his eyes.
And I will bring her back.
Bianca wouldn't want to be brought back.
I said.
Not like that.
You didn't know her.
He shouted.
How do you know what she'd want?
I stared at the flames in the barbecue pit.
I thought about the line in Anabeth's prophecy.
You shall rise or fall by the ghost king's hand.
That had to be minus, and I had to convince Niko not to listen to him.
Let's ask Bianca.
I've tried.
Niko said miserably.
She won't answer.
Try again.
I've got a feeling she'll answer with me here.
Why would she?
Because she's been sending me iris messages.
I said, suddenly, sure of it.
She's been trying to warn me what you're up to so I can protect you.
Niko shook his head.
That's impossible.
One way to find out, you said you're not afraid.
I turned to your ishion.
We're going to meet a pit like a grave and food and drinks.
Percy, Anabeth warned.
I don't think this is a good.
All right.
Niko said.
I'll try.
Your ishion scratched his beard.
As a whole dugout back for a septic tank, we could use that.
Cyclops boy, fetch my ice chest from the kitchen.
I hope the dead lack root beer.